Friday, May 23, 2008

ignorance

there are some days when i feel like i don't know shit. yesterday was one of those days. i went over to my friend paul's house to hang out. we ended up talking about politics, like always, and had a great discussion about unions. he is a history and english double major, and is like two classes away from graduating. one of the reasons why he still hasn't graduated is because he's also a staff sergent in the army and got deployed to iraq a couple years ago. he's an incredibly intelligent person and can give you a lecture on the entire history of the world at the drop of a hat. at one point, he had a girlfriend, who was thai, so he studied thai history so he could better relate to her. so having a friend like this, there are many times where i just sit and pick his brain. i love getting his take on the war, since he was in it and was his unit's historian. currently, he's employed at UPS and will be a driver within three years. working there, he is part of the teamster's union, so yesterday i just played devil's advocate and grilled him on all the anti-union arguments i hear.

after i left paul's, i went to barnes and noble. i started wandering through the social science, current affairs and history sections. i couldn't find anything to read; i was just so overwhelmed. i picked up one book called conservative comebacks to liberal lies. i started thumbing through it. it's pretty much an encyclopedia of conservative arguments against common liberal claims. it just amazed me, because it made claims that were completely contradictory to things i learned in school. i do plan on buying this book, at some point, because i really want to listen to the arguments and research them.

i just wish i could stop time, and spend two years in barnes and noble. there is just so much information. i cannot wait till i'm done with my BSW, so i can take a couple years off and just read. i sometimes wonder if phd's feel this way. i wonder if there are points where they say, "i might have a phd, but i really feel like i don't know anything." in the end, however, i suppose feeling this way is good, as the most ignorant people out there tend to think they know it all.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

a merry schismatic... uh, where was i? oh, yeah (part 5)

so, since i discussed my views concerning the idea of "going to heaven" and the ultimate point of christianity (i.e. God's kingdom invading earth), i guess it's fitting to discuss the other side of the coin. i've already discussed my issues with what the bible says concerning hell here, and, honestly, i would be all for striking the word "hell" from the christian lexicon. hell, as most christians think of it, borrows heavily from dante and mythology. nowhere, in the scriptures, does the idea of hell, as we commonly think of it, appear. and the word "hell" actually comes from the norse goddess of the underworld (ht clothman).

so, what is hell? i've been pondering this question for years now, and i can't say that i have a solid answer, nor do i think i need one. instead, i look at it from a few different perspectives and conclude that it's probably a sum of all of them. a perspective that's been very helpful comes from my pastor rob bell. in his book sex god, he opens the first chapter with his understanding of hell. basically, he believes, like i do, that heaven is invading earth and that heaven is anywhere where God's rule is lived out, which is why we're taught to pray "on earth as it is in heaven." rob says: "when we say something was a "living hell," we mean that it was void of any love or peace or beauty or meaning. it was absent of the will and desire of God." so when things are going as God intends, heaven is being lived at the moment, and hell is the opposite of that. i watch the show intervention. it's a documentary portraying addicts facing interventions. i just watched one about a lesbian meth addict from a conservative christian family. at one point, her sister says something like "i'm not concerned about what happens to her here, i'm concerned about her going to hell." my immediate reaction was, "going? she's already there."

in his book speaking my mind, tony campolo goes over several different perspectives on hell. he alludes that he believes hell is separation from God, but that people can still turn to christ even after death. he also makes note that the one time where jesus clearly tells a story about people being judged, that they aren't judged by whether or not they had a conversion experience; they are judged by how they treated the least of those among them. of course, one could argue that how one treats the least of these is the fruit of said conversion experience. but then the obvious question is: what about those who aren't christians who live like christians, better than most christains? this has always been an interesting question for me.

the other day, i attended a lecture at work about the increasing resistance to anti-microbial drugs of certain stds. after the lecture, i was talking with the pharmD who spoke, about the vaccine gardasil. we discussed how those in the bible-belt were opposing its use because it might encourage girls to have sex. my thought was that fear should not be the driving force behind celibacy. growing up, i was terrified of going to hell. for most of my childhood and early teens i believed that, in spite of the salvation prayers i prayed, i wasn't good enough to actually be a real christian. hell was and is a very powerful tool to win converts. my old church actually put on plays portraying people being thrown into hell in order to scare people into becoming christians. a common line of thinking in the church is that if there is no hell, then we can just live the way we want. so my question to those that espouse that idea is: so do you live the way you do, and believe what you believe, simply out of fear? is the avoidance of hell what american christianity boils down to?

to tie this in with christmas, i'll offer a final perspective. one of the gifts i received this past year was a cd by a band i love called thrice, and on this cd is a song called the arsonist. the song describes a city that has become corrupted by all sorts of evil, and an arsonist who plans on burning it down to rebuild it. in other words, he plans on cleansing it by fire and his motive for doing so isn't anger, but love. here are some of the lyrics:

There are still good shepherds scattered, but they're far between and few.
And the sheep's skin that the wolves all wear is so thin I see right through.
And I think maybe all that's needed is some gas and open flame,
because I don't think that any one of them believes that fire can erase their names.
But I will see this city burn.
I said I will see this city burn.
We will burn it down and build it again,what was buried in flame.
Burn it down and build it again from the bricks that remain.
I love this city, but I've set and numbered its days.
I love this city, enough that I'll set it ABLAZE.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

(cyn)icism

you know you're getting old when you don't do anything on your saturday off but watch movies, and you feel guilty because you didn't get anything accomplished. that's what i did today. i knocked out casino royal and children of men. both movies were great and intense, and both were so different that there's no way i could say i liked one better than the other. among their differences, i noticed that casino royal was, overall, pretty cynical in its message, while children of men had a message of hope. in casino royal, the new bond film, james bond learns the hard way that you can trust no one. children of men was about a child born into a world plagued by 18 years of infertility and war.

the other day, anne and i were riding behind a car that was plastered with bumper stickers. they were on the bumper, the trunk and the back window. anne spotted one bumper sticker that said "ca(sin)o." now, i don't agree that all gambling is wrong, but, whatever, everyone has a right to their opinion and to put corny bumper stickers on their car; so i didn't think much of it. later on, however, something occurred to me.

other stickers on this car had, not surprisingly, religious messages. what occurred to me is that many of the christians i know are incredibly cynical people. recently, my cousin erica made a comment that "there just aren't very many honest people anymore these days." in class, not too long ago, we were discussing whether things had gotten better in our country concerning racism. i argued that it has, but another classmate commented, "i just don't think things are going to get better." now, i know what these two people think concerning the fate of the world, so these remarks don't surprise me. but it's still bothersome to me that the only hope these people have for the future is that a sliver of humanity will be spared before locusts the size of ponies swoop down and devour some 1/3 of the planet. they would actually believe that the world was a better place a long time ago, when all it takes is a quick glimpse at history for one to discover that things have gotten better and not worse.

here's my point in all this. i think maybe the greatest, most ground-breaking, turn-all-of-reality-on-its-head, thing the bible has to say is that God is love. that in some unexplainable way, the very core of reality is love. now, there are many things to be cynical about: pop music, buffets and right-wing politics :) just to name a few. but for me, i have hope that all of this isn't just waiting for a cosmic wrecking ball to tear it down. and if God is indeed love, maybe cynicism is one of the greatest heresies of all.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

on my neglected series and my lack of blogging

as of late, i have been taking a writing class. due to the nature of this class, i am constantly working on a paper, which, for some reason, makes me not want to blog. i've been debating on how to continue my series. i originally was writing it as an examination of how i interact with people in my life of the more conservative evangelical persuation. however, i've quickly realized that i don't have much to say on that because my interaction typically constitutes no interaction, because there are just too many obsticals created by differing perceptions on different theological concepts. so, instead, i thought it would be good to work through those differing perceptions. my intent isn't to create a theological treatise, but to examine the disconnect between christians like myself of the emergent persuation and christians like my family and anne's who typify mainstream conservative evangelicals.

so that's where i'm going with all this. meanwhile, i'll also continue to write insightful observations about my life and shortcomings :).

Sunday, March 30, 2008

judging the judgers: lessons i learned studying fundies and rednecks

lately, there's been controversy surrounding a wedding anne is supposed to be in. the controversy revolves around the attire that the bridal party are must wear. due to the flavor of christianity the officiating pastor subscribes to, the bridal party must wear dresses that go to the floor, are long sleeved, and cover the collar bones. there must be no dancing. and all the music must be pre-approved by said pastor. as expected, many of the people involved in this wedding are pissed. honestly, i think it's kind of funny. do i think this pastor is a legalistic, judgmental, ignorant person? yes. do i think that the flavor of christianity that he and his church follows has anything to do with jesus or anything jesus came to do? probably very little at best. does it drive me crazy that people buy into this stuff? yes. the charge i keep hearing thrown around is that they (the pastor's church) are just so concerned with appearance. they just care about what's on the surface. but in the midst of the idiocy, hilarity, the anger and mind-numbing frustration i have to ask: am i guilty of the same thing?

we went bowling yesterday. the bowling alley is an interesting place to do some people watching. well, it is but it isn't. at first it's fun gawking at the uber-mullets, nascar jackets, and bud light t-shirts, but after a while you get used to it because everyone just looks the same. as i'm there i almost start feeling bad for these people. there's more to life than deer-hunting, nascar, camouflage, country music and bowling. at the same time i start getting frustrated because i'm judging and stereotyping. i know it's wrong to assume everyone at this bowling alley lives this stereotypical redneck, white trash life; that they're all that shallow; and for that matter, that my way of life is superior to theirs. but isn't it though? i mean for gosh sakes, try some other kind of beer!!! you don't know what you're missing!! expand your horizons! the very fact that you think budweiser is a good beer shows that i'm superior! these are the thoughts that go through my mind. there must be some sort of objective way to judge cultural superiority. trying new foods, trying new wines, listening to new music, watching documentaries, reading books, watching cable news other than fox-- these things must show that i'm superior.

i really didn't know how to process all this. i kept thinking, "what am i missing?" Then these two guys came over to bowl in the lane beside ours. one had an incredible mullet; just stunning. it looked like the mullets professional wrestlers wore in the 80's. the other just had short hair with a baseball cap. they both had beer guts and t-shirts with sports teams on them. they were like all the others; just an average pair of working-class guys. but there was something about them, however, that was far superior to myself. they were kick-ass bowlers. in fact almost everyone there was. they had the perfect form and the wicked curves. they had their own balls, shoes and towels. and when they started bowling i started feeling pretty inferior. the guy with the short hair would line his toes up on the dots, run up, bring his arm back and around over his head, back down and release. the ball would start going straight for the gutter, but then, just as it was about to go in, make this dramatic curve and crash right into the strike pocket.

my theory for bowling is much simpler. i don't give a damn about form. i come at the alley from the right with my arm in line with the gutter throwing the ball on an angle toward the center. the only thing i care about is hitting the strike pocket. if i can throw the ball and get a strike then i don't care what it looks like. if it works, then that's what i'm doing. form is completely irrelevant.

anytime i go out to eat with my friend joe, he always asks our server, "in x amount of years you're 100, how do you know that you won in life?" last week in church a woman shared her story about how she came out of a life of drugs, alcoholism, stripping and total hopelessness and met christ in such a way it permanently changed her. today our pastor said that after one of the services where she shared her story a woman came forward to say that she had been contemplating suicide and that she was dealing with those same demons. whenever i hear something like this emotion swells up inside my chest because somehow, mysteriously, the God who is love and who from all things exist became incarnate. and in the midst of the most tragic circumstances and hopeless existences, this incarnation continues. in the end, culture is nothing more than a mask and behind that mask the fundies, the rednecks and myself are all just human beings that need love, grace, peace and hope. and i'm sure that that has much more to do with winning at life, because, after all, form is meaningless.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

one helluva post (UPDATED)

***after reading an article on hell, i learned i was incorrect in saying gehenna is thrown into the lake of fire in revelation 20.***

my prolific blogger homey joe wrote a post that inspired me to post this. it's a post that has been sitting in my drafts bin for a while. enjoy!

my theological beliefs about heaven, hell, creation and salvation are in a constant state of evolution. i don't claim to have all the answers on these issues. yes the bible talks about all of these, but i'm still learning what the bible means, how to interpret it, and what other scholars who know way more than me about the bible, history, the culture of the people who wrote the bible etc. have to say. i think it's dangerous and ignorant to come to a point where you say, "ah, i'm all done learning and seeking. i have all the answers now, and now i can go convince others. and if they don't agree with me, then that means they're rejecting the truth and going to hell." i know i'm painting a caricature and i don't mean to put words in other people's mouths, but this is the overall message i get. it seems that every time i think i have it figured out i learn something new that changes everything.

i love it when people say, "well, the bible clearly teaches..." or, "the bible plainly says..." i want to say, "plainly to you!?" for instance, the topic of hell. some christians will say that the bible plainly teaches that hell is a place of fire and brimstone. it's a place of eternal torment for those who don't believe in jesus. here's the problem with this. the two words that mean, "hell" in the NT are, "gehenna" and "hades." gehenna was and is a real place. in jesus' day it was the town dump. they put their garbage and their dead there, and to get rid of the trash they lit it on fire. it was called a place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, the place where the worm never dies etc... so when jesus talks about being thrown into gehenna, he's referring to a real live place. it would then be fair to say he's using this term metaphorically unless one believes the unsaved currently reside in the ancient jewish town dump.

the other word, "hades" translates to the hebrew, "sheol." sheol was simply the grave, or death, or being put into the ground. when you get into the book of revelation, you find death and hell (sheol/hades) being thrown into a lake of fire. it then says the lake of fire is the second death. if you're reading this with no presuppositions it looks as if the lake of fire is symbolic and it symbolizes the end of death and hell-- the annihilation of those things and not a literal lake of fire. after all, the book of revelation is a hugely symbolic book, and death and hell are not people. saying they're, "thrown into the lake of fire" as if they're actual beings is a picture of a greater truth. it's not literal. it then says that those whose names aren't written in the book of life are thrown into the lake of fire.

so here's a recap: the book of revelation is highly symbolic. death is not a literal person. hell, in this verse, is hades-- a greek translation of the word sheol. these two things, for lack of a better term, are thrown into a lake of fire. then people whose names aren't written in a book of life are thrown in too. here's a question: if death and sheol aren't literal beings that can be thrown into something and revelation is a highly symbolic book to begin with, then why is the lake of fire and book of life treated as actual literal objects?? as if God really needs a book to remember who goes to heaven! and this doesn't even get into the symbolism relevant to the ancient world of fire and sulfur (brimstone). can you see why i don't know if i, "literally" believe people who don't believe in jesus are thrown into a lake of fire and brimstone for eternity? i say all this not to argue for a specific understanding of hell, but to point out that the bible-- once you seriously begin studying it-- isn't as, "plain and clear" as many christians believe.