jesus in the ER

this morning i read romans chapter 3. i admit that there are verses that i just don't like. romans 3:10 particularly stands out: "there is no one righteous, not even one." what a downer. humanity sucks. and because we suck so much and we can never achieve God's righteousness we're condemned to hell. another thing that i must admit is that i'm not particularly a fan of the word, "righteousness." when i hear that word all i can think of are people like john macarthur or charles spurgeon or john calvin. in fact, isn't that central to calvinism, that humanity sucks? not only do the associations i make with that word make me want to cringe, but what the hell does, "righteousness" even mean? i hear it get thrown around a lot but, honestly, i wonder if the people who love to use that word so much could really unpack it. and i'm not just talking about giving the textbook definition.

last night i had to make a trip to the ER for something that turned out to be nothing. the ER on a late saturday night is an interesting place indeed. it's kind of a cross between a half-way house and a prison. when we got there i overheard a nurse mention that there was a trauma, and that somebody had been shot. i wondered if it was a robbery or just some macho idiots acting like morons at a dance club. we (anne and i) were there for four hours. while we were there, there was a drunk guy laying on a gurney in the hallway about 15 feet from our door. the entire time, he kept yelling, swearing and complaining, and at one point he called his nurse a, "fat fucking slut" and told her to, "suck his cock." during one of his tirades he started complaining that he had to pee. i just looked at anne and said, "if i were his nurse i think i would be like, ok, sure, pull down your pants so i can cath you." at another point he started calling out asking for some water, which, why, after what he called his nurse, does he think she'd give him some water? he was also spitting on people; he was just a mess.

at 4 am when we finally left we were heading for the door when we got stuck behind a large group of loud, cocky, kids who were probably in their late teens and early twenties. one of them was the patient and he had his arm in a sling. his friends were laughing and joking about his injury and one of them said something to the effect of, "it's no big deal, you're a soldier (as in a gangsta/thug. not a literal military soldier)." i started wondering if he was the trauma.

the entire time i was there i had this brewing hatred for that drunk and then those kids as we were leaving. i would have loved to get in that drunk's face and tell him what a miserable, piece of shit that he is, as evidenced by him being there in the first place; and that he deserves to go thirsty and he should just piss on himself. i wanted to walk up to those kids and tell them that, in spite of their arrogance, they are worthless pieces of shit, who are a stain and burden on our city, and that it would take all my strength to conjure up any sense of tragedy if they were all gunned down that night. what's more, i think it would be a safe bet that if i did that and people were around they would applaud me, or at least, secretly be cheering me on. by societies standards i am a good person. i am hard-working, faithfully married, law-abiding, church-going and if i said those things it would be true in the minds of people who share those same characteristics. but there is no one righteous, not even one.

i wonder what jesus would have done in that ER. would he have gotten the drunk some water? what would he say, or how would he interact with those kids? jesus forgave the very people who put him to death. he washed the feet of the person who betrayed him. i wonder if, when he said "when i was thirsty you gave me something to drink," there were any stipulations about whether the thirsty person was nice or drunk and angry? i tend to think of righteousness as following all the right rules. to me, it's always been a very legalistic term. but if by looking at jesus we see the righteousness of God on display, then righteousness means being gracious, sacrificial, serving, patient, slow to anger, full of hope and joy, humble and giving. and, yes, i have to concede that compared to those standards, humanity does kind of suck and God's righteousness is, indeed, beautiful.